Express Wash Subscription Survival Rules v2

So you have an Express wash and a monthly service plan…. Now what?

This next piece of the subscription puzzle is not that complex. Owners seem to believe they have to literally be the only business on Earth that reads definitions and follows them. Please…. Ask a Lawyer / Politician first and see if this is true or not. 🙂

So you keep hearing owners and maybe even customers say “unlimited subscriptions are for unlimited washes”…. Well just because it says unlimited.

Well lets think about this and how rules are followed in our life….

Examples could be how farmers can used non-manmade pesticides for organic foods. I am told the whole point of organic foods is to not use pesticides.

Meat seems about the same…. Grassfed? 100% Grassfed? Really? What? A logically human would assume a grassfed cow would be 100% grassfed right? Not grassfed meaning one grass blade. Chickens: Cage or Crate Free, Free Range, Not Confined, Free Roaming, Pasture Fed, Pasture Grown, Meadow Raised, and Pasture Raised…. Sure I eat chicken. 🙂

Seems to me everyone pretty much tries to deceive customers. Express Washes any better? $5 really? 🙂 What is your average again? So why the hard line on “unlimited”?

Okay this Canada – US built car thing really upsets me…. Seriously how is building in Canada count as the US? What? So they employee US employees in Canada? 🙂 But I will not talk about that.

So back to the “rules”…. But I will not even make my own conclusions here…. I will use some other company’s conclusion which has over 2000 stores. They also have an unlimited subscription service. Panera Bread makes rules: https://bit.ly/2D7QNDvc Check out their rules. Rules are good…. We are surrounded by them. Panera Bread is very generous also I believe.

Express Wash Subscription Survival Rules

So you have an Express wash and a monthly service plan…. Now what? 

What do you do when there are abusers that abuse your plan? I have heard this question 100+ times.  “What should I do?  A monthly customer comes daily!”  It will usually just happen for the first month…. Seriously it will wear off do not worry. 🙂 But I just heard this the other day about a customer coming 2-3 times a day?  Yeah…. It seems like you need some rules now if you have this issue.  🙂

But do not worry car wash owners! I know everyone always gets confused and believes that the wash industry is the only industry around. But lets be honest…. Our industry is archaic. The issue is the number of businesses per owner and the fact our service is not a commodity.

The argument is this…. a contractor comes 2-3 times a day and the contractor becomes a sales rep for your express wash! “Great advertisement…. Tells everyone about the wash”.  I am assuming the contractor has one of those full car wraps with the wash name on it? Or an air freshener with your name on it? What… No? How many locations do you have 1-2? I hope 3-7 or more…. If you want this advertisement stuff to work. Sure sounds great…. But I believe the sales claims anyone talks about are from normal business practices.

Let’s look at why this kind of word of mouth might not help as well as you might think. In a saturated car wash market. 

So I love coffee…. Lets say I just went to Wild Roast Coffee and have this super awesome looking cup that I love. (Disposable coffee cups are cool so I carry it around everywhere I go…. Even when it is empty like a moron. Free advertising for Wild Roast!)   So I tell everyone…. So?  Wild Roast has one location…. Will I just be next to Wild Roast all day…. This is good then for Wild Roast! If not Wild Roast will probably not be close to anyone. My recommdations will probably just make even more business for Starbucks….. Same with two Wild Roast locations.  Then you will have to explain where this place is which is super annoying if you plan to advertise for any business…. This is another issue. Lots of locations like Starbucks this is great…. Air fresheners or eye catching rfid stickers great. One location…. Whatever….. Good for drive-bys and just keep what you got.

I am not saying I am smarter then a Plumber but….

plumber mistake

If you want to see the kind of kitchen faucet we purchased it kind of looks like this one on amazon:  https://amzn.to/2B4hUhB The new thing is getting a faucet that is all together. Which use to mean they were cheap? Who knows? 🙂

So we are getting new counter tops…. Don’t look at me that way.  I can install my own faucet!  LOL 🙂  Plus it was “included in the price”.   In fact I already installed the faucet and know for a fact the faucet worked perfectly.  Which kind of hurt credibility I believe?  🙂

So the plumber tells my kids he is leaving and my kids find me and say “everything works fine except no hot water”.  Great…. So I go meet the Plumber at his van ask “do you think you have one of the hoses crimped?”  The reason I asked this pointed question was I had this exact issue.  🙂  Plumber says checked everything…. blaw blaw blaw.  Basically the new faucet is broken…. “it is clogged and needs parts”  So I come back in the house take the picture above…. Move the hose and WHAT hot water fixed I am a plumber now.  🙂  (I believe I need to go work for someone for 10 years slave labor like the old times actually?)

This Moen pull down kitchen faucet design is seriously flawed I believe for normal people to install…. I mean seriously a plumber could not do it.  No joke.  It could be easily fixed but basic trouble shooting should help.  I even asked the Plumber “does the hot water come out of the fitting in the wall?”  Plumber “yes”.  If it comes out of the fitting in the wall and the sprayer is off (which the sprayer is probably the most likely to get clogged it also has a screen in it) the hose is probably the issue?  Well it was the issue twice!  LOL 🙂  Just look at the brass fitting in the above picture…. Moen knows there is no room and there is an issue.  Propitiatory fittings (I believe?) and the plastic fitting on the sprayer are also a nasty touch.

So all this car wash trouble shooting knowledge does have a practical use?! WHAT?  LOL 🙂  Also the “Plumber” sounds like a “Distributor”….  “Replace it”.  Owner “But…. What about just replacing that switch?”  LOL 🙂  At least I thought the story was funny.  🙂

How Customers should determine if they are going to a Crappy Express Wash?

Very simple…. If the Express wash owners actually expects customers to wash their cars before going through their equipment.

I hear you…. the customer is paying to get their car “clean”?  I can argue about equipment and prepping…. So lets not go there.  Lets just agree it is a labor issue…. I just believe when your prices are $12, $15, $20 it is the owner’s responsibility.  (I actually believe it is always the owners responsibly to wash your customers car if you have an attendant.  I also know it is hard to get any employee to do anything.  This is the reason I would never own an Express Wash.  🙂 )

Sonny’s, MacNeil or in this case Tommy tunnel equipment…. They all have prep stations around here.  I have also seen all the equipment cleaning cars.  So I would never blame it on tunnel equipment they are basically all the same…. Cars are not the same.

I could go on forever and delete 90% of this post already…. What gets me is…. Customers are so concerned about “scratching” their car and they go through an express or full service wash with brushes.  🙂  Silly customers…. You even wash and vacuum your own car.  🙂  Sounds like another place…. A Self Service Car Wash!  🙂  At least at a self service wash you can inspect the brush before using it!

Reviewer: Gave it a shot today, bought the $20 package and not worth the price. My truck wasn’t very dirty but was in the tunnel wash very quickly. Came out and looked. The rear window still dirty and roof was too. Waste of your money

I picked the most appropriate comment for my post. 3 negative comments on not prepping cars. 4 negative reviews overall out of 8 reviews. Still a 3.8.

Car Wash Guy’s…..Tool Bag Pictures :)

Some of my tool links:
(I was writing an article and just complied a list of links to maybe help show exactly what items I was talking about? Maybe not helpful? 🙂
Terminal block screwdriver: amzn.to/2DYU0TZ
Chisel driver screwdriver: amzn.to/2KOzzug
Phillips PH 0 head screwdriver: amzn.to/2zFeluy
Electrician’s Scissors: amzn.to/2Ei8cbA
Wera 932/6 screwdriver: amzn.to/2Q8oI45
Klein Tools 647: amzn.to/2Pg168t
Knipex Cobra Pliers: amzn.to/2SrNdGh
Combination wrench: amzn.to/2QAaubT
Ratcheting wrench inch: amzn.to/2Qen9Sh
Ratcheting wrench metric: amzn.to/2QiF7Di
Veto Pro Tech XL: amzn.to/2KQTPeH
Klein backpack: amzn.to/2KQTVTB
Milwaukee cordless ratchet: amzn.to/2PdwqVm
Small 3/8 socket set: amzn.to/2rlZJLX

USPS has Street Addressing for Free! Like it is really free! :)

OLD:  PO Box 361
NEW:  1809 Riverchase Drive #361

Apparently this feature has been out over 6 year?  You can tell USPS is not competitive at all! LOL 🙂  Maybe they should advertise or tell you about their features?  Like online shipping and “A Boxes” and “B Boxes”?  Maybe this would make them more money?  But why bother when more income just means more work?  🙂

Also why is it a problem if you add “suite” or “apt” in front of your number instead of the required “#”…. This will make them return the item?  I doubt my PO would do it…. It would require more work! (Walking further.)  🙂  Also why would they honestly care if you are claiming it as your physical residence or place of business in legal documents?  (The PO is making you SIGN A DOCUMENT SAYING YOU WILL NOT DO THIS?)  Sure on legal documents it might say no PO Boxes and obviously it is a PO Box but why would you have to sign something at the PO?  It is really none of their business if you are breaking the rules or laws on other contracts?

Well I have renewed my PO Box multiple times for years and have never seen this option…. I believe they just added it?  It might have always been there…. It is pretty cool but I am really not impressed honestly.  (UPS stores have had this feature since I was in college…. 75 years ago.  This was the reason they were always better.  Well there are other reasons also.)  But do not worry…. If I want to enable this feature (which I would probably never use anyway) I would need to sign a document and sit in line and give it to someone…. Then in a month or so I will need to sit in line again and give another signed document to someone…. Then in another month…. Call which actually might be worse….  Plus my PO Box number is so bad!  It is 6 digits!  What a joke…. You could not even pretend you lived in an apartment or office building…. Well not in Birmingham at least. (Even being the 49th largest metropolitan area in the US 2013.)

Dixmor LED 7 Car Wash Timer Hack and Magswitch Keychain Magnet

I got a question for you Dixmore LED 7 timer users. Well… This should be about everyone really. 🙂  All the manufacturers basically have standardized on this timer now.  (Maybe if Gin-San had a cheaper repair policy they could have competed better?)  I also would assume all the current Dixmore timers inducing the LED 5 and LED 6 are like the LED 7.

What is the reed style magnet switch in the timer actually for? I always thought it was for resetting the timers. I also assumed from reading…. That it was for an issue with coin acceptors.

Well someone claimed that you could check your coin count with any magnet? But I thought you have to push a button to check the count?  Or use the remote control?

It seems that someone is confused. But Dixmore does not claim the switch has any functionality tied to it?  Which makes me believe it is a security feature…. For the coin acceptors.  Plus why would Dixmore allow you to check the coin count without a password?  Just a thought…..

Funniest Thing I Have Heard in a Long Time….

So I was waiting for my daughter after school today and I heard something really funny.  Kids are funny…. Today I learned that Land Rovers break down constantly.  Well…. I might have already heard about that…. LOL 🙂

The other day I learned Apple iPhones and Apple watches catch on fire…. I believe it was just iPhones?  But still funny hearing it from a first grader.  🙂

Just when you think you KNOW someone!? I am going to get electrocuted!

Disclaimer: I realize an Electrician is a skilled position. I also thank Greg and YouTube for teaching me enough electrical knowledge so I have not had to call one. Mainly Greg in teaching me about a breaker box…. Opening it up etc. (Also all Electricians are not created equal…. I wish I got the name that my mother in law called after I told her what her GFCI problem was. What Electrician says a GFCI that does not reset is fine?)

So I needed to fix a plug that was plugged in in the KITCHEN! I started looking through my car wash stuff and all I had was an USA build Leviton plug. Not this LINK but they cost $15-20 at HD a lot cheaper on amazon. (I should have used a cheaper one.)

My wife came home and saw the Leviton plug and flipped out.  (I guess it was the metal housing?)
Wife: “Unplug that it will burn down the house!”
Me: “What? The plug? That plug cost $20 at Home Depot and I replaced the $1 cheap China crap plug which really might have burned down the house.”
Wife: “You should get an electrician to install that or something?  You might have installed it wrong!”
MUCH TIME LATER….
Me: “If I change the plug to one that looks like the old plug would that be better?”
Wife: “Yes”

It made me think that she is probably not alone…. They should probably teach some BASIC electrical skills.  Same with plumbing.  Some with banking etc.  Also that self service car washes are the best place and the best value to wash your car.  🙂

I have not heard this in 10 year! LOL :)


This is something that I have literally not heard in 10 years or more. I thought it was the funniest thing…. This may be a nerd thing?  🙂

I was selling a Dell Optiplex SFF which is a “nice computer for the money”…. People have asked a tons of questions.  But honestly when you are selling a working computer for $20 people expect way to much!  I can not think of anything I even want for $20!  JK I am hungry!  🙂  You get the idea though.

Customer:  “Can I come to your house to make sure it works?” 
Me:  “NO NOT FOR $20!”  What I really said…. “No we can meet somewhere.”  I do not want to drive anywhere…. But I do not want anyone who wants a $20 computer to know where I live!  LOL 🙂

This guy said and I am quoting “If you’ve got an XP 32 bit. I want it.”  He might be the last person on Earth that wants a XP 32 bit computer!  🙂

Honestly…. I have run into really bad hardware and software that has to run on Windows XP.  I just never thought of it as a niche market!  I would raise my price but I can not even sell them for $20.  LOL 🙂