Express Wash Subscription Survival Rules v2

So you have an Express wash and a monthly service plan…. Now what?

This next piece of the subscription puzzle is not that complex. Owners seem to believe they have to literally be the only business on Earth that reads definitions and follows them. Please…. Ask a Lawyer / Politician first and see if this is true or not. 🙂

So you keep hearing owners and maybe even customers say “unlimited subscriptions are for unlimited washes”…. Well just because it says unlimited.

Well lets think about this and how rules are followed in our life….

Examples could be how farmers can used non-manmade pesticides for organic foods. I am told the whole point of organic foods is to not use pesticides.

Meat seems about the same…. Grassfed? 100% Grassfed? Really? What? A logically human would assume a grassfed cow would be 100% grassfed right? Not grassfed meaning one grass blade. Chickens: Cage or Crate Free, Free Range, Not Confined, Free Roaming, Pasture Fed, Pasture Grown, Meadow Raised, and Pasture Raised…. Sure I eat chicken. 🙂

Seems to me everyone pretty much tries to deceive customers. Express Washes any better? $5 really? 🙂 What is your average again? So why the hard line on “unlimited”?

Okay this Canada – US built car thing really upsets me…. Seriously how is building in Canada count as the US? What? So they employee US employees in Canada? 🙂 But I will not talk about that.

So back to the “rules”…. But I will not even make my own conclusions here…. I will use some other company’s conclusion which has over 2000 stores. They also have an unlimited subscription service. Panera Bread makes rules: Check out their rules. Rules are good…. We are surrounded by them. Panera Bread is very generous also I believe.

Express Wash Subscription Survival Rules

So you have an Express wash and a monthly service plan…. Now what? 

What do you do when there are abusers that abuse your plan? I have heard this question 100+ times.  “What should I do?  A monthly customer comes daily!”  It will usually just happen for the first month…. Seriously it will wear off do not worry. 🙂 But I just heard this the other day about a customer coming 2-3 times a day?  Yeah…. It seems like you need some rules now if you have this issue.  🙂

But do not worry car wash owners! I know everyone always gets confused and believes that the wash industry is the only industry around. But lets be honest…. Our industry is archaic. The issue is the number of businesses per owner and the fact our service is not a commodity.

The argument is this…. a contractor comes 2-3 times a day and the contractor becomes a sales rep for your express wash! “Great advertisement…. Tells everyone about the wash”.  I am assuming the contractor has one of those full car wraps with the wash name on it? Or an air freshener with your name on it? What… No? How many locations do you have 1-2? I hope 3-7 or more…. If you want this advertisement stuff to work. Sure sounds great…. But I believe the sales claims anyone talks about are from normal business practices.

Let’s look at why this kind of word of mouth might not help as well as you might think. In a saturated car wash market. 

So I love coffee…. Lets say I just went to Wild Roast Coffee and have this super awesome looking cup that I love. (Disposable coffee cups are cool so I carry it around everywhere I go…. Even when it is empty like a moron. Free advertising for Wild Roast!)   So I tell everyone…. So?  Wild Roast has one location…. Will I just be next to Wild Roast all day…. This is good then for Wild Roast! If not Wild Roast will probably not be close to anyone. My recommdations will probably just make even more business for Starbucks….. Same with two Wild Roast locations.  Then you will have to explain where this place is which is super annoying if you plan to advertise for any business…. This is another issue. Lots of locations like Starbucks this is great…. Air fresheners or eye catching rfid stickers great. One location…. Whatever….. Good for drive-bys and just keep what you got.

FREE Express Car Wash Advice from a Trained Consultant

“Trained Consultant” is a loose term…. I have no vested interest and I do not sell equipment. So technically I am better than any consultant! LOL 🙂

So this is my best advice:
1) Check the prices first…. hint it cost more than a house retard. I do not know how many times I have heard…. “I can purchase a house for less than that!” Me: “NO SH** and unless your house is a brothel or a meth lab how much does your money pit make you! NOTHING!”
1a) Check the water tap and water prices…. you might need to also factor in a reclaim system.
2) Check competition…. if another express is doing really great just build right down the street! No dumb ###…. you get the idea. You need a location with little competition. I know there are lots of stupid owners building everywhere…. in every sector but the plan is to make money correct? 🙂 Also no equipment will save you…. customers do not care only sales people.
3) This seems the stupidest to me…. do not worry about the brand name (I would prefer ss though). All the equipment washes the cars okay. Sure they wash clean cars…. but…. well so does a water hose? 🙂 You need a human to scrub the car….

Best advice ever for express customers
1) NEVER go to an express that has a “prep station”…. are you really stupid enough to clean your car before you PAY someone to wash your car?
2) ALWAYS go to an express that has some guy with a brush that knows where to wash your car before it goes through the 100-300k worth of show equipment.
2a) Back of car, mirror, bumper, fins, sun roof and pretty much any indention.
3) HINT Besides price and speed the hand wash guy does a better job and VACUUMS for you also.

This is what makes no sense to me….
If you are prepping your car (you should wash your whole car with the provided brush) and vacuuming your car. Why not just go to a SELF SERVICE CAR WASH?

Note: My wife’s car just got an express wash at a flex serve…. an employee scrubbed the front. Also when she went through the tunnel they wiped the front and mirrors. There was crap all over the sides window crevices, sun roof and back…. if you own an express you know the places. She owns a Honda van…. do not act dumb. LOL 🙂

UPDATE (BTW the above place washed the whole car like it was at a self serve. LOL 🙂 Both this place and the other place have new equipment. I also do not believe the chemical defense. Unless you are using HF on the whole car? LOL 🙂 Do not use HF or any harst chemical. It is not worth your hearth and others to wash a car.)

The 5 Dollar Express Car Wash – BBB ranking F BAHAHAHAHA! :)

The 5 Dollar Express Car Wash Business Review in Boaz  AL   North Alabama BBB


The 5 Dollar Express Car Wash
(256) 293-7673
2285 US Highway 431, Boaz, AL 35957-5976

Over just one complaint?
09/12/2012 Problems with Product / Service

I am not confirming or denying I know the owner of this place. 🙂 But as much as I think this is funny! It’s not really fair that 1 complaint can give you an F! But there “employees” probably throw away the letter from the bbb… or if the bbb even really tries to “contact the owner of the business”? I really think the bbb is about 75-90 percent scam anyway. 🙂 Still funny though.

Albertville Tornado Hit my Dad’s Express

UPDATE: My Dad ended up rebuilding the wash and told me he reused all the tunnel equipment. So it was not a total loss. He only had to replace the outside equipment that was stolen or destroyed (blew away). Also the low pressure pumping system was supposedly a loss? He replaced it with a Hydroflex. I am not sure what the insurance claim was or the official damage…. but I believe is a good provider if you need insurance. 🙂 This is just what I was told multiple times! I honestly do not care…. and if I hear this story again from my Dad! LOL 🙂

A side note…. Entry units at expresses: I never understood why he never used an entry unit at this location. He actually sold the entry units back to the manufacturer long before the tornado. We would debate this topic every time he complained about customers. LOL 🙂 The manager at the location I believe did not like the entry unit idea for some reason? This also caused major conflict not having an entry system. Nice guy though….

Click here for Before the Tornado and see below for after.  The tornado hit on April 24th.


Albertville Express Wash


These are some pictures pulling up to the Albertville wash.


The Autec Shine Express is around where the vacuums are and these are some pictures of Scott spraying my car.  The buffering from the Shine Express did a unbelievable job it looked and felt like it was hand waxed.


Here is a picture of a car entering the tunnel.  Note the mirror.

Albertville Express Wash


ICS entry unit as well as the window and cash register.  All the entry / exit gates are Magnetic Automation Corp.


Pictures are from left to right 3rd picture is the main enterance and exit, the 5th and 6th picture  show the entry units and the large turn to enter the tunnel.


Vacuum setup with the Vacutech Power Clean Super Separator.