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FREE Express Car Wash Advice from a Trained Consultant

“Trained Consultant” is a loose term…. I have no vested interest and I do not sell equipment. So technically I am better than any consultant! LOL 🙂

So this is my best advice:
1) Check the prices first…. hint it cost more than a house retard. I do not know how many times I have heard…. “I can purchase a house for less than that!” Me: “NO SH** and unless your house is a brothel or a meth lab how much does your money pit make you! NOTHING!”
1a) Check the water tap and water prices…. you might need to also factor in a reclaim system.
2) Check competition…. if another express is doing really great just build right down the street! No dumb ###…. you get the idea. You need a location with little competition. I know there are lots of stupid owners building everywhere…. in every sector but the plan is to make money correct? 🙂 Also no equipment will save you…. customers do not care only sales people.
3) This seems the stupidest to me…. do not worry about the brand name (I would prefer ss though). All the equipment washes the cars okay. Sure they wash clean cars…. but…. well so does a water hose? 🙂 You need a human to scrub the car….

Best advice ever for express customers
1) NEVER go to an express that has a “prep station”…. are you really stupid enough to clean your car before you PAY someone to wash your car?
2) ALWAYS go to an express that has some guy with a brush that knows where to wash your car before it goes through the 100-300k worth of show equipment.
2a) Back of car, mirror, bumper, fins, sun roof and pretty much any indention.
3) HINT Besides price and speed the hand wash guy does a better job and VACUUMS for you also.

This is what makes no sense to me….
If you are prepping your car (you should wash your whole car with the provided brush) and vacuuming your car. Why not just go to a SELF SERVICE CAR WASH?

Note: My wife’s car just got an express wash at a flex serve…. an employee scrubbed the front. Also when she went through the tunnel they wiped the front and mirrors. There was crap all over the sides window crevices, sun roof and back…. if you own an express you know the places. She owns a Honda van…. do not act dumb. LOL 🙂

UPDATE (BTW the above place washed the whole car like it was at a self serve. LOL 🙂 Both this place and the other place have new equipment. I also do not believe the chemical defense. Unless you are using HF on the whole car? LOL 🙂 Do not use HF or any harst chemical. It is not worth your hearth and others to wash a car.)

GREAT BUILDING! WEIRD SIGN! LOL :)


I believe I was in Gadsden AL?  🙂  This was obviously a hand wash place with a hose and bucket.  Their name was “God’s Grace” Car Wash…. but their sign said “KEEP Moving FORWARD”.  What does keep moving forward ever refer to?  I like the style though.  BTW…. Yes they were still washing cars.  It was just raining today.

Looks like an old service station I guess…. $20 for “most cars” and $25 for “most trucks”.  I am not sure what that even means?  Do they accept offers…. “How about $15?”  That is normally how I get my lawn cut.  LOL 🙂

Gadsden, AL Self Serve

I am not saying my wash is any better or worse…. This self serve is behind a Exxon gas station: 936 Rainbow Dr, Gadsden, AL 35901

2x ROWE BC-200 I hate to say it…. But there is a 92.94% change that 1 or both do not work. 🙂 One has a pushed in acceptor also…. so 99.992% right? 🙂 Which means no stacker I believe.




This Turtle Wax sign is pretty cool.

Birmingham Alabama Hand Wash / Detailing

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I talked to this guy for a while…. Super nice guy.  I believe he is basically a bucket washer and he prefers a hose?  I believe he uses a car wash or washing from his house?  I thought the prices were interesting though and may help someone?

BTW another hand wash guy supposably made a deal with some megachurch up the street from my car wash.   He apparently washes cars while people are in church.  (He washes them at the church…..)  Which is a great idea….  Then the church gets a cut.

I have also fully supported multiple hand washers in the Birmingham Wylam area….. I am a sucker for helping locals I guess?  🙂  I actually asked one of the guys to try and talk to the preacher at the megachurch and offer a percentage (that is how I heard about the above story and other aspects).  Allegedly…. you can not discuss hand washing.  LOL 🙂

Complete 4 bay self serve car wash equipment for sale – CHEAP! – LOOK

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This is a HOT ebay lead to help Don sell his car wash equipment out of his Aloma Car Wash in Winter Park, Florida. I have to admit I would think he would be lucky to get $6,500 delivered to my house but you have to dismantle it! But Don will help you for a “small upcharge”.

One thing I hate about ebay is I was looking at this “auction” (which is actually a bin) and I was debating even bothering for $100! LOL 🙂 I’m terrible! It would take you one day minimum and a truck or a trailer…. Around $500-1000 probably if it was free…. which it is not.

One note: Everyone is so concerned about pump stands…. this stand is cinder block on a ss plate. Works just the same as a Jim Coleman Super Saver…. also in this case it cost as much as a used Jim Coleman Super Saver…. just kidding Don!   🙂    Stay strong my brother!   Wait….  I have those 2 kinds of vacs at my house now!  Did they make more then 2 of those?  🙂

Royal Services – On-site Car Cleaning Commercial Cleaning 205-568-7742 : Did they pay a Jefferson County Water Tap?

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So does Royal Services have to pay some sort of sewer tap fee? I did. Or do they pay a fee to pollute the storm water? Actually is this legal? He was not capturing the runoff. This company or guy is probably costing Jefferson County more to clean up his mess then what he makes! Looks like maybe even HF wheel cleaner…. down the storm drain. Also I see a flammable sticker on a gallon of chemical right next to a gas generator in his van…. good location. I also assume he is storing it correctly when traveling… I didn’t say anything about that! He knows the laws in Alabama! 🙂 This guy probably even uses residential water. I wish I could use residential water.

The 5 Dollar Express Car Wash – BBB ranking F BAHAHAHAHA! :)

The 5 Dollar Express Car Wash Business Review in Boaz  AL   North Alabama BBB

THIS BUSINESS IS NOT BBB ACCREDITED

The 5 Dollar Express Car Wash
(256) 293-7673
2285 US Highway 431, Boaz, AL 35957-5976

Over just one complaint?
09/12/2012 Problems with Product / Service

I am not confirming or denying I know the owner of this place. 🙂 But as much as I think this is funny! It’s not really fair that 1 complaint can give you an F! But there “employees” probably throw away the letter from the bbb… or if the bbb even really tries to “contact the owner of the business”? I really think the bbb is about 75-90 percent scam anyway. 🙂 Still funny though.

Someone Purchased the Old Carwash in Fairfield

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I really liked this carwash and I have posted pictures in the past.  I even called the owner of the wash and he actually talked me out of it, which is interesting.  The Fairfield wash location always looked like a good safe location.  But I drove by today and it looks like someone might have been killed in the yard of the abandoned house behind the wash?  Or maybe not?  I’m not going to start any rumors!